The year in Ls
My failure resume
This year was filled with pinch me moments. If you follow me on any social platform, you’ve probably seen me post about getting to pitch Beyoncé’s dad to be my mentor or making it to Fortune’s inaugural list of 10 Innovators Shaping the Future of Health.
I’m all for celebrating wins. The more marginalized identities you hold, the more important I believe it is for you to celebrate your wins as publicly as you feel comfortable.
But when I look for inspiration, I find that I’m most drawn to people who share stories of their failures. Failures are the only part of the process that’s inevitable, yet it’s the part that’s least talked about.
In the spirit of being what I want to see, I’m sharing three entries from my 2022 failure resume. Here’s my 2022 in Ls:
The Inner Working Group Chat
The Inner Working Group Chat, the Group Chat for short, was Inner Workout’s membership community. It beta-launched in March of this year and closed in October.
The Group Chat had members and lasted over six months, but I consider it an L for multiple reasons. First, the Inner Workout community told me they didn’t want a community membership in our annual survey. The data showed people weren’t into an online community, but I thought that tying the community to things that people did want, namely events and courses, made it ok to ignore the survey results. Ignoring feedback is never a good starting point.
Next, I realized fairly quickly that I don’t enjoy stewarding online communities. I described it as being the anxiety that can come with hosting a party paired with the realization that the party has no cutoff time. I was in a constant worry loop where I wondered if people felt connected, entertained, and cared for.
Finally, I increased the number of monthly events in the membership. The events were easy enough to run, but there wasn’t enough scale to justify the number of events. I’d block off part of an evening or a Sunday afternoon just to be the only person who showed up to an event. I found myself feeling frustrated and trapped.
The worst part was that I noticed these trends and didn’t do anything about them for months. That’s the biggest L for me. My inner wisdom was quite loud, and I ignored it. The moment I decided to wind down the membership, I felt like I could breathe again.
My creative energy returned, and I had an idea for a more supportive membership structure almost immediately.
Becoming a tech CEO
I’m still in the process of launching Gateway Coaching because I underestimated just how much of a tech company it actually was. My plan was to launch it at the end of October. We started letting people off of the waitlist in December.
My Virgo Rising hates delivering late on a deadline, but I consider this an L because of how I communicated. I was in a holding pattern with the developer as each “little tweak” revealed a “Russian nesting doll”-esque suite of issues, and, instead of looping in the coaches who make the platform possible, I just didn’t share anything.
I left people in the dark because I felt a lot of shame: for not launching when I thought I’d launch, for not padding the timeline, for not appreciating how long tech can take to get to a “shippable” place, and, most importantly, for not being the kind of leader I want to be.
My coach helped me get to the root of my shame, apologize to the coaches for my lack of communication, and set up a clear communication cadence that allowed me to show up as the leader I know I’m capable of being.
Sales
I hate selling. I’ve probably typed those exact words in a previous issue. However, as the founder of multiple companies and no sales team, sales is part of my job. My tendency is either to not ask/offer directly or to only share something a couple of times when I know the Marketing Rule of 7.
It’s this self-fulfilling prophecy where I worry that something is going to fail or that people will hate it, so I don’t talk about it as much. Then it doesn’t do as well as it could have.
I find myself wondering what would have been possible this year, for Begin Within, for workshops, and for my own coaching practice, if I’d said things with my full chest more frequently. Ending the year with that giant “what if” feels like a major L.
Well, friends, that’s a wrap on issues for 2022. Thanks for being in the process with me.
Wanna work together? I’m really excited to coach and consult more business owners in 2023. This year, I quietly worked with half a dozen biz owners who either reached out organically or were referred to work with me. They resonated with my values, my grounding energy, and my own track record as a serial builder. I’d love to work with you if the timing aligns!
I’m pausing on book launch asks (besides pre-ordering the book!) while I get my ducks in a row. More to come in the new year.